What does it mean?

Today, I heard someone talk about being engaged to a "Christian" man.  That started me thinking.  What do we mean when we say someone is Christian?  That they pray?  That they are an active part of a community of faith?  That they go to Bible study?  Or, do we mean that they hold a certain belief about Christ?  Or God?  Or salvation?  Or do we mean that they behave a certain way?  With kindness?

I suppose many would say that being Christian has to do with belief.  But, I don't know about that.  I mean, a person can believe in Christ and do terrible things....in the name of Christ.  The Crusades.  Slavery.  Oppression.  So, I don't think belief quite covers it.   I think Christian in its purest form means relationship with Christ.  It means responding to people in ways that love him.

That's hard.  It is much easier to go to church, go to Bible study, and believe.  It is harder to love him when it comes to our dealings with others.  The poor.  The mean.  The aggravating.  It's harder to love him when it requires me to put someone else first.  We talked about that this week in my little ministers' study group and the notion that we should consider others as better than ourselves.  That is so counter cultural.  And, yet relationship with Christ provides so much love that we don't have to compare ourselves with others to make sure that we are ahead of them.  We don't have judge the behavior of others to make sure we are better than they are.

Just some ponderings I had today.  What does it mean to be called Christian?

You never know

I write a lot of notes.  Well, maybe not a LOT, but I am definitely a note writer.  I like to write notes.  I like the personal feel of a pen between my fingers.  I like knowing that the card or paper that has touched my hands will soon be in the hands of the intended recipient.  And, I like the intimacy that a written note brings - it just seems warmer to me than a typed email.

So, I try to send thank-you notes when I receive a gift.  I try to send notes to people in the congregation when they are going through a difficult time, or when they have agreed to serve in a new capacity, or when I simply think about them and want them to know it.  I send notes to visitors, too.

Today, I was at the post office, and I ran into someone who attends another church but who visited our church about two years ago.  I wrote her a note.  She thanked me for her note, and said she keeps it in her Bible and moves it as she reads.  Wow!  Who knew that a note from two years ago would still be in circulation...and still appreciated?

I should know that.  I keep notes that I receive.  Some are tucked in my Bible.  Some are tucked in a drawer.  Some are tucked in notebooks and journals.  But, I turn to them often when I need encouragement, or when I need to remember that no matter how frustrated I may be, the work is important.  It makes a difference.  Sometimes, rereading a note feels like a little whiff of Holy Spirit and it fuels me for what is to come.  You just never know.

Judgment Day

I've been thinking a lot lately about judgment....no, not judgment that involves hell fire and damnation, but the kind of judgment that can be so flagrantly present in our thoughts and conversations.  I am tempted to continue on saying that "we do this' and "we do that" but I'll refrain from that judgment and speak only for myself!

Something happens.  For example, a car pulls out in front of me.  Or, I have to make more changes in my dissertation.  Or, I can't get my gas logs to work.  Or, it rains, or the sun shines, or it is cold, or it is hot.  Something happens, and I assign a value to it.  This is good.  This is better.  This is bad.  This is worse.  Often, I will think it necessary to express my judgment with a few more opinions thrown in, just in case my point did not come across clearly.

A colleague recently said, "I am learning that I don't have to have a judgment for everything."  Wow!  He is right.  I don't have to have a judgment either, and even when I do, I certainly do not have to make it public.  Can you imagine keeping an opinion to yourself???  Who does such a wild and crazy thing?

But, the truth is, when I judge something as good or bad, I feel either good or bad.  When I make my judgment public, I bring you into my feeling, for better or for worse.  And, sometimes things are not so easily labeled.  Somethings things just ARE.  "It is what it is" is a saying that holds much truth.

It is not good.  It is not bad.  It simply is what it is.  I am going to try to remember that.

A Breath of Fresh Air

Two local ministers and I meet for lunch and every now and again.  We've been meeting like this for a few years, and I always feel a little lighter after we've been together.  Sometimes we talk about church stuff. Sometimes we talk about personal stuff.  Sometimes we talk about upcoming services, or decisions we have to make, or difficult situations that we are trying to faithfully navigate.  And, sometimes, we just talk about Downton Abbey and cats!  Our little fellowship has been very important to me as a source of support and friendship.

When we got together prior to Christmas, one minister gave us a beautiful commentary called "Dwelling with Philippians:  A Conversation with Scripture through Image and Word."  You can see that my cat is enjoying the book, too.  When I say that it is "beautiful," I mean that it is full of art, poetry, prayers, reflection, and the obligatory good scholarship.  I love it.  We made plans to meet as a threesome to study it together.

Our first meeting was yesterday, and wow, I had forgotten how much I enjoyed engaging the scripture as a participant and not as a leader.  I think we were all hungry for that because we talked non-stop!  But, it was helpful to hear how they read scripture as it applies to specific work things and things that we've learned along the way. I was so relieved when we scheduled our next meeting for next week instead of next month.

It helped today as I began to prepare for Sunday's sermon.  It helped me as I interacted with various people. It helped me to know that I've got good peers even rural JC!

I start 2014 very grateful for that.

The Red M & M

Tomorrow is Epiphany which means that the official Christmas season is coming to a close.  I did not get my tree up until much later than usual this year, so I have been thoroughly enjoying the season after December 25.  In fact, I think my favorite time of year might now be those days right after Christmas Day when the pace slows, and I have time to try out new recipes, read books that interest me, look at the lights on my tree, go to movies at the cheap theater (and eat popcorn) and putter around in my house.

But, it always makes me a little sad how quickly my neighborhood takes down its decorations.  Of course, they put them up before Thanksgiving, but still, it seems a shame to pack everything up so quickly.  I mean, what better way to ring in the New Year than to still have tangible reminders around your home that the light does indeed shine in the darkness?

So, over the weekend, I was driving home after dark feeling a little glum that Christmas had already been boxed up for next year.  Then, I saw it.  The inflatable red M & M - glowing, moving a little bit in the breeze, and just being festive.  Yes, I know that inflatables can be tacky, but you know, I believe that Baby Jesus would really have enjoyed that big M & M.  Smiling and waving around in the darkness.

And, I thought, "We still have cheer.  We still have joy.  And, I am thankful for this big M & M to remind me."  This year, I think I'll look for those reminders all year long...the places where God's love meets our cheer...and even our sadness.  They might come in the official holy places like church.  But, they might show up in inflatable yard decor.  One thing is certain, I will smile every time I open a bag of M & M's.

Bring it, 2014!

One thing is certain, 2013 has not been the year of Lea the Blogger!  I had such good intentions last January, but I seldom took the time to sit down and write.  Maybe 2014 will bring a little more inspiration from me.

As for now, it is New Year's Eve, and it promises to be a quiet one save for me neighbors and their fireworks (which gets Max the dog quite excited).  I don't mind a quiet New Year's Eve.  This time of year, I find myself feeling a little nostalgic, a little hopeful, and a little reflective - thinking back on the high points and low points of 2013 and wondering what 2014 has in store.  I also wonder when December 31st rolls around next year, what kind of person do I hope to be?  What growth do I want to have occurred during the past year?

I am still thinking on these things, but two areas jump to mind almost immediately.  I want to be less anxious and more trusting of God.  Who doesn't?  I am not unique in this hope!  But, one thing that I plan to do towards this end is practice meditation a little more often...like each morning.  I think I can do it.  I think it will give me a little peace and quiet to start the day, and perhaps that will give me a little more peace and quiet to deal with the day!  I've found a lot of resources to guide this endeavor - lots of books on centering prayer, breath prayer, and all that jazz.

I've experimented with this the past two mornings - I set the alarm on my phone at 10 minutes.  I've found that it takes almost that entire time to settle down...even first thing in the morning.  Everything that I hope not to forget to do during the day comes rushing to the front of my mind, and once that all floats away, I hear the alarm.  I might be upping it to 15 minutes tomorrow.

I've also committed to a study with two of my local minister buddies.  We are taking on a beautiful commentary of Philippians - it's got scripture, poetry, art, prayers - it really is lovely, and I am very excited to be a part of this group.  Spiritual friendships sometimes feel  few and far between, and I am looking forward to getting to know these friends a little better.

The second spiritual intention I have is to add some kind of 'examen' to the end of the day.  Every day.  Seriously.  I do this only sometimes now, but for me, it must be a daily thing.  Sometimes, I think I stray away from it simply because I don't want to facilitate a faith that concentrates on everything we do wrong.  But, at the same time, I want to keep growing and keep improving, and I can't do that without an honest look at my thoughts, words, actions, motivations, conversations....faith takes practice, and if faith practice is like piano practice, you need to be aware when you miss a note, so that you can figure out how to get it right the next go round.

So, that's what I'm thinking so far for 2014...and one other little tidbit, but that's a surprise for Sunday - no publishing early!

Other things for 2014 - finish dissertation and GRADUATE!!!!!, Avon Walk for Breast Cancer, learn Debussy's Clair de lune, learn the theme to Charlie Brown Christmas, successfully bake a layer cake, snorkel and maybe work towards diver certification, acquire taste for hot tea, work crossword puzzles...

These shoes were made for walking...

I just bought a brand new pair of walking shoes.  I admit that I am a little bummed that I cannot try them out today.  I am recovering from some kind of cold bug and thought it wise to not exert myself util I know I can get through tomorrow's sermon without incident!

It has been almost a year since I purchased walking shoes - my last ones almost had a hole in them.  But, they are officially retired as of today.  They were good shoes and they carried me through my first Avon Walk with nary a blister.

But, as I look at my new shoes, I feel hopeful.

Where will these shoes carry me?
When I retire them, what things will have happened in my life?
How many miles will they clock?
How many secrets will these shoes hear?
How many world problems will my walking buddy and I solve while I wear these shoes?
How many times will I walk my dog in these shoes?
How many times will I reach down and scratch his ears?
How many picture perfect days will these shoes see?
How many issues will I sort out while walking in these shoes?
Will these shoes see me through any crisis?
How many sermon ideas will come to me while I'm in these shoes?
How much inspiration will these shoes lead me to see?
To which adventures will these shoes direct my feet?

It really wasn't just a pair of shoes that I bought today.  It was my sanity!  And, thanks be to God for good shoes, good friends, and long walks....and what a blessing it is when they all come together.