Something Else

You can't make this stuff up.  A colleague's church participates in a church softball league.  At risk of making the understatement of the year, I am not athletic.  Sure, I can walk great distances, but that is the extent of my athletic prowess.  Yet, a church softball league ought to be a safe haven...a place where even the likes of me can find a place on the team.  A church softball league ought to be a place where competition is not a significant source of motivation.  A church softball league ought to be a place that welcomes the least of these and gives them a jersey.

My colleague uncovered some uncomfortable truths about the church softball team.  First, a majority of the players were not church members...and, yes, I know that perhaps these lost souls could come to know Jesus by the crack of a bat, but they weren't recruited as a form of evangelism.  They were recruited for their abilities and the 'edge' that they could give the team.  Their "edge" came at the expense of younger church members who were relegated to the bench because "this game is too aggressive."  Really?  If church softball is too aggressive, then please don't call it "church."  "Real World" softball, maybe.  Dog eats dog softball.  Ratrace softball.  Win at all costs softball.  Look out for number one softball.  But, not "church" softball.

This story set something off in me - competition and rivalry are not healthy operating guidelines for the church.  But, how quickly they sink in...and not  just in softball.  We take votes on major decisions - immediately setting up winners and losers.  Some churches vote for church leadership - potential deacons running against each other - setting the stage for hurt feelings.  We have preaching awards, lists of "most influential men or women" in religion, top ten churches in evangelism awards, and numerous opportunities for recognition as the brightest and the best.  Christian leaders keep track of their numbers ("How big is your congregation?" is a frequent pastoral question).  Christian writers track their rankings on Amazon.  We pay attention to those identified as "someone to watch" and we look for leaders who are "going places."

Sometimes, I think that with the mindset of competition and rivalry, the church world could be a reality show - let's shoot for a perfect score every time and let's hope somebody else gets voted off.

But, what if we just stopped?  What if we stopped pursuing the world's trophies?  What if we measured our success by our relationships and not our numbers?  Better  yet, what if we threw away the desire to be "successful" and gave deeper consideration to the desire to be faithful?  What if we started gladly warming the bench and even preferring the bench over rivalry?  What if we recognized competition as a dangerous in the life of faith?  Sure, some people can handle it gracefully, but most of us get too invested in the win.

Or, maybe I'm just projecting my own mid-life crisis on the church!  However, it does seem to me that the call of Christ leads us deeper...not higher.  All of our recognitions and awards and medals can lead us to crave these things and to feel self-satisfied when we achieve them.  These days, Jesus is inviting me to something else - something that does not insist on perfection - something that does insist on cooling my heels and on taking it all in with a glad and generous heart.  Honestly, I don't know exactly what that "something" is.   But, I'm pretty sure it doesn't involve a blue ribbon.

Ten Years!

On Sunday, I celebrated my tenth anniversary as pastor of Wilson's Mills Christian Church.  The actual anniversary date is May 22, but given that May 22 also kicks off a holiday weekend, we celebrated last Sunday!

I was not prepared to make a speech at our luncheon, but nevertheless, I was called upon to make a few remarks.

This is what I wish I had said.

When I accepted the call to Wilson's Mills Christian Church, I most wanted to be a good preacher.  I had visions of grandeur!  Delivering sermons to a packed sanctuary!  Starting an immediate capital campaign to finance the building of a LARGER sanctuary!  Purchasing additional chairs to accommodate all the students attending Bible studies!  Writing books and being featured on Oprah!  Writing a blog that would have worldwide impact!  Publishing articles in Christian Century!  I wanted to be a leader - a fresh, young voice in Christianity.

Well,..when I recently purchased reading glasses, I realized my dream of being a fresh YOUNG voice was gone!  But, I am also realizing that my dreams of grandeur were nothing more than buy-in to the definition of success with which the world tries to seduce me.  Go big!  Bigger congregation! Bigger classes!  Bigger influence!  Bigger budget!

But, that's not what I want at all.  I don't want my ministry to be defined by numbers.  I don't want to be motivated by numbers.  I don't want my passion for ministry to be driven by a desire to have more members than the church down the street.  In other words, I don't want what I'm used to wanting - the A+ and the bonus points for excellence.

The truth is that I do love to preach.  I love putting words together and bringing a biblical story to life in 2015.  The truth is I like to teach spiritual formation.  I love experiencing different approaches to prayer on retreats and in groups.  I do like being a preacher and teacher.  But, striving for perfection in those areas is dangerous territory for me because it tempts me to assess how well my ministry reflects me instead of how well it reflects (albeit imperfectly)  God.

The truth is that the part of ministry that most fulfills me is the part that can't be measured and quantified.  Fulfillment comes in those moments that most scare me - those moments that the congregation has entrusted to me in their vulnerability...at the time birth when new life is welcomed into the world.  At the time of marriage when lifelong vows are made in front of God.  At the time of death when words may fail but the Holy Spirit does not.  Those are the moments when I pray the deepest, "Thank you, God."  Of course, the "thank you" only comes after a desperate "Help me!"

All of that to say that my ideas of ministry have changed so much in the last ten years.  Today, I am grateful to be in this church that we affectionately refer to as "small but mighty."  I am grateful to serve in a congregation that knows me well enough to appreciate my affinity for pandas.  I am grateful to be not a fresh young voice in the world of Christianity but a welcoming voice in our neighborhood.  I am grateful for the opportunity to pursue faithfulness instead of chasing after high marks.  I am grateful for another day to live this unique life God has given to me.

Here's to the next decade....whatever it may bring.

Is it even possible?

Last night, I was in an Administration and Finance Committee meeting and I believe I left with a question that will keep me pondering for some time.  We were citing some of the verses in scripture, particularly those that deal with outrageous generosity and the call of Jesus to give and give some more.  We noted that these verses were difficult to reconcile with church budgets and our responsibility to be good stewards and plan for the future.

That got me thinking about not only the financial things that Jesus said...but all of the hard things that Jesus said.  Was he serious?  And, can the institutional church really live by the principles of faith that he put forth?

If someone strikes you on the cheek, can we really turn the other also?  How does that apply to national security?  How does that apply to protecting ourselves and our stuff?

When he tells us not to worry about our life or what we will eat or drink, what does he mean?  Should we not plan?  Should we not be responsible?

Was he serious about cutting off your hands and feet if they cause you to sin?

Was he serious about forgiving people 77 times...and how do we keep track of that?

Was he serious about "go, sell your possessions, and give your money to the poor?  And, if so, what does that mean for us as individuals?  Does it suggest anything about how big our houses should be or how many cars we should have or how many vacations we should take?  Does it suggest anything to our churches about how our buildings are used, how we address needs, and what our priorities are?

And, perhaps the question that haunts me most of all is "Is the institutional church capable of living the faith that Jesus laid out?"  I honestly don't know the answer to that.

The Friday Five Again!

Here are the Friday Five questions...and I might be taking this one with a little frivolity.

1) Is there a film that so captured your imagination that you couldn’t stop thinking about it? In what way(s) did it affect you?

Sound of Music...it gave me a lot of songs to sing when I have had too much coffee...nothing says "caffeinated" like The Lonely Goatherd.

2) What religious/spiritual film has touched you? This could be something overtly thematic, like The Last Temptation of Christ, or something more subtle, like Enchanted April.

Sound of Music...climb every mountain, baby!

3) When the going gets tough, is there a film you turn to for distraction and/or to help shift your mood?

Sound of Music...I simply remember my favorite things and then I don't feel so bad!

4) What is your all-time favorite movie?

Um, Sound of Music.

5) If you were to choose a film for viewing and discussion with your congregation, what would you choose?

Sound of Music...and we would have the discussion in costume.

Bonus: If your life were to be made into a feature film, who would you want to play you?

JULIE ANDREWS!!!

Sorry for the rant....

I've been following a story in western N.C. about a high school student, Kalei Wilson.  Kalei is an atheist who wanted to start a club for like-minded students to organize and do community service.  I guess this is similar to what groups like the Fellowship of Christian Athletes do.  At least a dozen students had expressed interest in joining the club.  Anyway, this was posted on Kalei's page this week:

"It saddens us to report that due to the numerous threats and the verbal attacks on Kalei along with the vindictive witch-hunt to hurt the reputations of affiliated local groups and our own family , Kalei will not be continuing with the group.

We have contacted GoFundMe and requested they return your generous donations. They have assured us that your funds will show back up in your respective accounts within 3 to 5 days.

Your love and support are priceless and we apologize in letting you down. It was our single goal to support Kalei in her efforts to start the much needed SSA club.

However, we never expected our family and friends to be sought out and demonized. Please know that we recognize the importance of the club but we can not justify our involvement with the risk of our families safety and well being."

It does not take many clicks to find the text to some of these threats or to find the unbelievable vulgar language that was directed toward Kalei.  It makes me so incredibly sad and infuriated at the same time. What are churches teaching children that would cause them to think that this kind of threatening behavior is not only appropriate, but it is "Christian."  Seriously.  How does that square off with the life of Christ...yes, I guess you could say that Jesus called people names.  He called a group a "brood of vipers."  (Matthew 12:34 and 23:33).  And, yes, he got mad and a little violent when he turned over a bunch of tables (Matthew 21:12, Mark 11:15, John 2:15).  And, guess what?  His anger was not directed at unbelievers.  His anger was directed at the religious people whose attention to self-righteousness kept them from being decent human beings.  That is a call to repentance for all of us in the church.

And, in Matthew 25, when Jesus does indeed talk about the final judgment, he does not talk about belief and getting the beliefs right.  He is much more interested in how we care for others. He says that those who will be welcomed into paradise will be those who fed the hungry, gave the thirsty something to drink, clothed the naked, took care of the sick, visited the prisoner.  That was his deal.  He took care of people.  He welcomed people that nobody else wanted to be around.  He allowed them to touch his life.

Sometimes I am just overwhelmed by how far Christianity (at least the Christianity that gets all of the publicity) has fallen from those behavioral covenants.  We'd rather bully a non-believer than understand her.  How arrogant!  We'd rather bully a non-believer than show her the love of Christ...by welcoming her, by practicing radical hospitality, and maybe by working side by side with her in projects that could benefit an entire community.

Think of the witness THAT would have given.  That would have shown a group of Christians so secure in their faith, so moved by the love of Christ in their own lives that they don't have to bully others who do not believe the same.  They don't have to use strong vulgar language "in the name of Christ."  They don't have to draw the line in the sand and refuse to budge.

They can welcome others into the love of Christ by welcoming them into their own lives.  They can get on with the business of feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty something to drink, clothing the naked, etc. What a witness we could have if we stopped our obsession with judging others and left that up to God.

Sorry for the rant - but that article got to me.

Friday Five

A long while back, I used to be a faithful player to the "Friday Five."  That's five questions posted on Fridays for RevGal bloggers, and we respond and post our thoughts.  Feeling the urge to play today, so here are their questions and my answers!

1. A color that you enjoy (and where you find it) - maybe it's because I was recently on vacation, but I enjoy the color blue...specifically Caribbean blue found rippling around the U.S. Virgin Islands.

2. A food or drink you have discovered recently that is just da bomb!  Last October, I discovered (through the generosity of a friend) the Spiced Caramel Apple Cider at Starbuck's....taste of world peace, people!

3. A simile for tiredness - Tiredness is like a slow leak in your tire.

4. A random picture from your phone, camera or computer - hard to choose, but I love this pic of a little boy in our church and me.  Somehow, we both ended up looking at the camera and smiling at the same time...a rare occurrence indeed.

5. Your least favorite bill: car mechanic, dentist or plumber?  Car mechanic!

BONUS: If you are going to have a Lenten practice or discipline, what is it? If you have a book or on-line resource, be sure to share it!

This one is a little scary because if I write it, I will have to do it.  I've got a few things happening at church, but for me personally, I will be participating in a book study on-line (I hope with the facebook group called New Benedictine Community).  We are looking at a book called "Awareness" by Anthony deMello.  But, the practice that will likely be hardest is keeping my mouth shut.  I very much want to cease and desist saying negative things about individuals.  

So, that is my Friday Five!

I can only do so much

Sometimes, I look at the CNN news web-site, and the stories of cruelty that I find there are overwhelming.  It can be human to human cruelty, and this week, it was human to animal cruelty.  I realize that there are many differing opinions on what defines cruelty, but between the stories of the stray dogs in Sochi being rounded up and killed and the giraffe in the Copenhagen Zoo being shot and fed to lions due to overpopulation...well, those stories literally turned my stomach.

We live in a disposable society where it is deemed appropriate to kill something to get it out of the way.  Not only is it deemed appropriate, sometimes spectators show up for the show.

This morning, one of my Sunday group participants lamented that the news often made her feel helpless because there was only so much that she could do.

And, I guess these stories make me feel the same way.  There is only so much I can do.  Now, the question is....does that cause me to give up?  Or, does it cause me to do what I can with a renewed spirit?

Time will tell.